Who Am I Without My Eating Disorder
The question ‘who am I without my eating disorder’ is one that many ask themselves as they work through recovery.
Eating disorders are complex mental illnesses that can leave sufferers feeling incredibly lost. For many, the deeper you are in the eating disorder, the more it can feel like the illness has hijacked your true sense of self.
All the unique traits and qualities that make you special and unique can feel masked by the eating disorder. In addition to this, the eating disorder behaviours can feel like a part of your identity: maybe it’s ‘I’m the one who never misses a workout’, or ‘I’m the one that eats the least amount of food’, or I’m the one who (insert eating disorder behaviour).
Reconnecting With Your True Self
You are worthy of true healing from this illness. And an important part of recovery is connecting with your authentic self.
This means reconnecting or finding out who you really are and who you were always meant to be. Connecting with your values, morals, personality traits, likes and dislikes, goals and dreams. The true person who lies behind the eating disorder.
So I hope you’re ready to dive into some powerful inner work with me! Grab your favourite journal and take yourself to a safe space. Spend some time reflecting on the following questions to begin your journey of self-discovery.
1. Who were you before your eating disorder?
Do you remember having any passions? What did you enjoy doing? Outside of food and exercise what did your life involve? Was there anything that made you happy?
Some will find this question meaningful, others may only remember an unhappy time prior to the eating disorder. Remember, whatever comes up for you is absolutely okay – this is purely a reflective exercise and you get to skip anything that doesn’t fit.
2. What are the things that you value in life?
Do you value freedom, kindness, honesty, bravery, empathy, equality? What are your core values?
If you’re not sure, see if you can go through this list here for inspiration.
Eating disorders take us away from the things that really matter to us in life. As we reconnect with our values it becomes easier to separate ourselves from the illness.
3. Imagine you are 80 years old looking back on your life. Complete the following sentences:
I wish that I spent less time…
I wish that I spent more time…
If I could go back and do something differently I would…
Are you surprised at what came up? Transporting yourself to the future can be such a powerful tool when working out who you want to be today and how you wish to live your life.
Remember, you didn’t choose to have an eating disorder, this is an illness that takes hold. However, you can make a choice to continue the path to recovery and reconnect with your authentic self.
4. Who do you want to be?
Do you picture another person? Someone famous maybe? What is it about them?
Or perhaps do you picture yourself with something different – and what does this vision represent?
Is who you want to be aligned with your eating disorder or is it aligned with your recovery?
Breathe, you made it.
If you made it this far I am truly celebrating you, and I hope you found it helpful to reflect on these questions. Recovery is such an enlightening process and you are both worthy and capable of healing.
If you’d like some tailored support and wish to work closely with one of our multidisciplinary recovery coaches, you can find out more and get in touch here.
