Tara’s Relationship With Exercise

Tara’s Relationship With Exercise

My relationship with exercise hasn’t always been easy. I used to view exercise as a type of punishment during my eating disorder, but it has also been a huge source of joy in my life too, especially during my recovery.

With the support of my recovery coach, I shifted focused on moving towards intuitive movement. This is all about connecting with my body, listening to its cues, and using that to determine what type of movement I will do, rather than forcing myself to stick to a set regime. 

I have come such a long way, no longer fearing rest days, not pushing myself to extreme intensities, and incorporating different types of movement into my life– from gentle Yin Yoga to Zumba, to trail running. I’ve found so much joy in movement and the freedom I have now means there is much more time for what’s really important. Spending more time with friends and family and living, rather than excusing myself because ‘I have to do a workout’. 

Understanding Triggers

A key part of my journey with movement and exercise has been finding safe exercise spaces. Environments where I can connect with movement for joy, rather than punishment. In a diet-culture-rich world, finding these spaces isn’t always easy, but they do exist!

At the start of my recovery, I realised that I needed to understand my personal triggers around over-exercising. And as I understood these, I was able to find exercise environments that were safer and healthier for me.

My Personal Triggers

1. Comparison

Through my eating disorder, I compared myself to everybody around me and always felt I came up short. Working out with others was became challenging and unhelpful.

Through lockdown, I found a love for home workouts and online classes, which eliminated comparison. And although over time being around others has become less of a trigger, I acknowledge that staying away from group classes or the gym during the start of recovery was helpful.

Now, at this later point in my recovery, I think it’s all about doing what’s best for me. For example, if I experience a bad body image day, I know a group choice wouldn’t be the best option. So on these days, I may opt for a YouTube yoga or dance workout instead. I can also rest (without fear) if that’s what feels best!

2. Mirrors

Mirrors were an important trigger for me. I noticed I spent the majority of a group class body checking, which always led to a negative inner dialogue.

To overcome this now that I’m able to join groups, I’ve found exercise classes and groups where there are no mirrors. For example zumba classes in community halls, outside yoga, and walking/running clubs. This really helped me to engage in classes and find joy in movement again.

3. Uncomfortable Clothing

Clothing can definitely impact how I feel about myself, and often the clothes I would choose for exercise weren’t helping me to feel safe or confident in my body.

When I ditched the super tight fitness wear and opted for looser tops and comfy bottoms, I felt so much freer. This supported me in movement becoming more about how I feel, rather than about how I look.

4. Pro-Diet Language

It was only when I started my recovery journey that I noticed how riddled with diet culture the fitness industry is. So much of the language is around changing your body, losing weight, toning up, or ‘earning/burning’ calories.

I chose to unfollow (many) fitness accounts when I noticed this language. And have sought out those who don’t focus on aesthetics – I promise, they do exist!

I looked for instructors/influencers who focus on moving because it feels good, nurturing our bodies rather than punishing them. Below are some of my favorites, I hope you find them helpful too!

Non-Diet Fitness Influencers

Tally Rye – A fitness instructor/PT with great content and tips on how to reject diet-culture. How to improve the relationship with exercise, health at every size, and intuitive movement. Her podcast is AMAZING definitely check it out! 

Cortney Berling, eatwell.runbetter – As a runner I love Cortney’s content. She shares really positive messages and great anti-diet content. Favourite post from her: “if you can only maintain your weight by restricting calories then it’s not your ideal weight”.

Victoria Confidence Coach – Victoria shares a lot about her own history with an eating disorder and recovery. I found her so inspirational and encouraging through recovery.

Emily Decker Fitness – I came across Emily thanks to Tally Rye’s podcast! I find her content really helpful as she shares really practical ways you can make your workouts more intuitive.

Improving my Relationship With Exercise

Understanding my triggers, finding safe exercise spaces, and learning from non-diet intuitive movement professionals greatly supported me to improve my relationship with exercise.

I now understand that all movement counts as exercise, and there is so much joy in moving intuitively. Once upon a time, I did the same workout every day, only to try to change my body. Now, I can choose movement based on what I feel like, listening to my body with what feels good, kind and fun!

This morning I had a lovely walk with my husband and dog. Tomorrow I will be dancing away and having fun with my mum during our weekly Zumba date! What I do know, is all the work I did through my recovery journey was worth it, and I am proud to say that I have found peace with movement.

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Our Thoughts: Tara’s Journey

Thank you to this recovery warrior for sharing an insight into her relationship with exercise. We hope this inspired some of you to explore your connection to movement.

If you recognise you are struggling with a difficult relationship with exercise, get in touch to see if coaching could be the right step for you.