Have you ever listened to the little voice inside you that reminds you of your younger self– your inner child?
Regardless of how much we grow, we carry our younger selves with us through each day. Perhaps it’s the unheard 10-year-old self that shows up when we feel someone isn’t listening to us, or maybe it’s the heartbroken teen who shows up when we feel a lack of attention or care.
What is Inner Child Work?
Inner child work involves creating a space where your unconscious mind can take the lead. It’s exploring our true feelings and the parts of us that may not feel heard or allowed to exist consciously. The parts of us that are pushed away due to fears we carry or unresolved trauma. By allowing ourselves to explore this process, we can shift away from the coping mechanisms that may not be serving us. And we learn to find acceptance and compassion for ourselves and our experiences.
Inner child healing work may include:
- Grieving the loss of a childhood that you needed but didn’t receive
- Processing the wounds your inner child carries
- Learning to set healthy boundaries
- Re-connecting to parts of yourself that need to be heard
- Finding your compassionate inner parent
Inner child work opens up space for happiness, growth and connection to your authentic self!
Today we hear from one of our recovery group members, about her inner child experience.
Danielle’s Inner Child Experience
In our recent group session, we did some inner child work through a guided visualisation. During the visualisation, we connected with our younger selves. At the time, I felt sad for my younger self and what she had gone through with her relationship with food and body image.
As we reached the end of the visualisation, we were asked to think about what we wished to tell our younger selves. This experience sparked something significant inside me, which is why I have chosen to share it today.
Here are the five things I would like to share with my inner child:
1. Your value does not lie in your appearance
Living in a larger body does not make you less valuable despite what you think. Your best features are not your eyes and hair. It’s your kindness, empathy, sensitivity, love for your friends and family, compassion for strangers. Believe me, your closest friends and family don’t value you for your appearance. They love you for who you are.
Remind yourself every day of what value you bring. Be proud of what you offer to this world and those around you. You are enough just as you are.
2. Your smaller self is not your happier self
Everywhere you will be bombarded with images of beautiful women in smaller bodies, messages that smaller is better, smaller is happier. You will try everything to shrink yourself, to fit into the box diet culture wants you to, but when you get there, it won’t be the life you were sold. Fear of losing that smaller body is suffocating, isolating, and it certainly isn’t happier.
The work which needs to be done is internal, not external. Your body is your vessel in this world; it allows you to experience and live life– it does not define your life. When you open yourself up to living a life without restriction, there is more joy in everything, more laughter and a deeper connection. This is freedom; this is happiness.
3. You are not alone
At times during your eating disorder, you will feel alone, and you will feel shame, you will feel like something is wrong with you. But that is not the truth. Over a million people in the UK alone have an eating disorder. You are not the problem; diet culture is the problem.
I know that you will discover a support group of strong, kind, encouraging people who have been through similar journeys. You will connect with others who felt that way too. Together, you will help each other recover.
4. Your most beautiful self is your truest self
There is only one you, don’t deprive the world of that. How can anything true be wrong? True is perfection. True is beautiful.
Instead of spending time shrinking your world, go and discover the world, discover who you are and the life you want to live, then shout about it! That is beauty.
5. Ask for help
You do not have to present a strong front all of the time. Be true to yourself, kind to yourself. You deserve the support you give to others; they want to give it back, let them! People want to understand, and they want to help you. When you open up to your closest people about your eating disorder, a huge weight will be lifted; this is a pivotal moment in your journey.
My Final Thoughts – Inner Child Healing
I know now that my younger self deserves to be happy and free. And I am determined to make her proud.
Thank you to this recovery warrior for sharing her first experience of this work with us all. We hope this shines a light on the power of inner child healing.
Our eating disorder recovery programme champions inner child healing as part of the process. You can learn more about the programme and get in touch here.
