Starting The New Year With An Eating Disorder
As we enter a new year, the traditions around setting resolutions and January diets can be full of difficulties for those suffering or at risk of an eating disorder. Today we hear from a sufferer who shares her recovery experience and some inspiring insights on how to approach this year differently.
New Year’s Resolutions
Approaching the new year, I’ve often used this time to reflect and set new goals. But, the season of new year’s resolutions can come with immense pressure to better ourselves. And it often feels mandatory to share these goals with everyone around you.
This time can be particularly tough on those of us suffering from an eating disorder. There is an instant flood of advertisements around dieting and workout plans —a constant focus on changing your body shape, weight loss and clean eating. Everyone is talking about their perceived ‘indulgence’ over the holidays. And it can all be highly triggering!
An Excuse To Punish Myself
The new year became another excuse to punish myself through my eating disorder. A time when I would set unrealistic and unhealthy goals that deprived me in so many ways. With everyone around me on weight loss plans and new year diets, I quickly followed. My eating disorder thoughts were stronger than ever, and I was constantly triggered with a considerable sense of guilt if I ever didn’t join in these restrictive behaviours.
Coming from a background of disordered eating and compulsive exercise, the customary diet culture-led traditions fed into my eating disorder. I found it tough to cope with the sheer amount of people normalising disordered eating comments and behaviours in January. It started to feel ‘normal’ to have an eating disorder. Almost like others had suddenly joined me, and what I was doing was no longer an illness or dangerous. But looking back, I can see that it was for me.
The start of each year soon became a time of relapse and difficulty. A time my eating disorder loved. But one that I feared most of all.
Shifting My Mindset
Moving through recovery, I shifted my mindset around the new year. Instead of punishing myself with depriving resolutions, I set flexible and achievable goals. Goals that will not cause further suffering, but that will support my recovery.
Although it can be hard not to compare my goals to others, I can see how essential it is to recognise what is truly right for my journey. I no longer want to miss out and fear delicious food over Christmas or feel the need to compensate in the new year. I realise that coming away from this cycle is important for my recovery.
Embracing Recovery
Instead of trying to change myself this year, I will focus on acceptance. I choose to work on why I feel the need to change my body. To find balance in life, where food can be both nourishment and enjoyment. This year, I choose to work against diet culture and work with my body instead.
This year my new year’s resolutions are to:
- Practice self-care and put me first.
- Find patience for myself.
- Take one day at a time and accept that there will be ups and downs.
- Embrace imperfection in myself and through life.
- Ask for help when I need to, whether from family, friends, my therapist, dietitian or a helpline.
- Join an eating disorder support group, and attempt to participate more.
- Surround myself with people who support and add positives to my journey.
- Stay away from diet culture!
If you are reading this, remember that goal setting is about doing what’s right for you. Your goals won’t be the same as mine or anyone else’s. I believe that for recovery, we must stay away from setting goals around how we look, societal pressures or other people’s expectations of us. See if you can be free to set goals that embrace positive change for your recovery and your world. And be kind to yourself in the process. I know that’s what I will be doing!
Final thoughts
Thank you to this brave eating disorder warrior for sharing her authentic recovery experience and powerful insight into creating change as we approach the new year. We hope you found this helpful and invite you to share your recovery goals with us on Instagram @naturalfoodtherapy.
Happy New Year!
