In today’s blog post, eating disorder recovery warrior Lydia discusses how she navigated her fears around body change and took powerful steps towards body acceptance. Sharing difficulties she faced and a recovery tool that she found particularly helpful throughout her recovery journey.
Lydia’s Story
When I think about the start of my recovery journey, I began by saying yes to all the changes that the journey would bring – except for changes that related to my body. I was determined to recover from my eating disorder but only if I could keep my body the way it was.
After spending much of my life trying to be smaller, it felt so scary to let go of the ‘ideal body’ I had created in my mind.
I understood that to really let go of my eating disorder and find body acceptance, I would have to be willing to let go of the control I was holding around my body– but knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
Something I wanted to share was a simple tool I was introduced to by my recovery coach, that I have used a lot to catapult me through recovery and towards body acceptance. A tool that led me to bigger picture thinking! Something super simple, but really impactful.
When I felt stuck, it helped me to use a rational approach. It was basic pros and cons work. So simple, but so helpful.
I would use different versions of listing out the pros and cons, to enable me to reconnect with my goals and ultimately my recovery. To remind me of what I really wanted for myself and my future.
Below I am sharing an example of this. A real list I created at a time I needed it. My personal pros and cons list around stopping [dietary] restriction and allowing my body to change.
Cons Of Stopping Restriction + Allowing My Body To Change
- Putting on weight
- People judging me due to my body changing
- Losing part of my identity
- Being seen as less attractive
- People thinking less of me or valuing me less because I don’t fit an ideal
Pros Of Stopping Restriction + Allowing My Body To Change
This led me to the question – what will I gain if I let go of my fears around body change and live a life free from restriction?
I would…
- Be in tune with my body, honouring what it truly needs
- Improve my health and have more energy
- Spend less time worrying about how I looked = more mental capacity
- Feel freer in my body
- Be at peace with myself
- Have less anxiety
- Have a greater understanding of myself
- Have more self-worth, that is not tied to my appearance
- Be more confident in myself and the value I bring
- Be more willing to try new experiences, without body image holding me back
- Spend more time with loved ones
- Embrace my body and work towards body acceptance
- Find it easier to be present
- Be living more authentically and connect to my truest self
- Have more love and compassion for myself and in return more for others too
- Live a happier life
- Have more resilience – other people’s opinions wouldn’t matter so much as I would truly know myself, I would be more confident that I am properly honouring my body and am living a life aligned with my most authentic self
I chose to share this particular list with you all because I remember how it made me feel. It was like a real release. I felt calmer and it reaffirmed my decision to reject diet culture and keep moving towards a life free of restriction. It also made me realise my fears were all about what others will think of me, and that is something I have no control over. So why spend my time trying to please others when I have no control over them anyway?!
The pros and cons and questions I use often change, depending on what’s going on at the time. However, I’ve noticed that the outcome is always the same. This exercise always reminds me that there is so much more to gain by letting go of my fears. It reminds me that living a life free from an eating disorder will always = a happier version of myself and a happier freer world. And I know now that that is something I deserve.
I hope this helps someone today.
Your fellow ED survivor, Lydz x
Our Thoughts: Lydia’s Body Acceptance Journey
Thank you to this kind recovery warrior for sharing her story and this powerful recovery tool with us all.
If you would like support with your recovery journey, you can learn more or get in touch here.
